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A tortoise-rambling email

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Amir Karger
September 11, 2002 00:46
A tortoise-rambling email
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Andrew writes:

> The winner of this month's Tortoise-crawlin' Hall of
> Shame award is Amir Karger. It seems that Perl's
> Recursive Regex is rather slow.

I always knew that if I just golfed enough times, I
would win something. I'm sure you can imagine that
testing this sucker wasn't much fun.

I think the winners need to give classes on
identifying the right algorithms. I had the "inside
out" algorithm for about five minutes before I decided
it wasn't helping much. In retrospect, it turns out
that for that solution you need to carefully mark when
you've already RPN'd a region. On the other hand, it
looks like a bunch of different 

Somewhat relatedly, I seem to be remarkably consistent
in these contests. No matter which of the super
golfers sit out in a particular month, I always end up
between 11 and 20th rank overall. This time (when I
swore I wouldn't play because I didn't have time -- so
much for (Jewish) New Year resolutions.) I was 22, if
you count beginners and teams. (I'm not sure whether
the BOG does.) And my y index always hovers around -5.
I can't decide if I should be happy that the
ridiculous number of hours I put in let me finish
respectably each time, or depressed that all those
hours don't seem to be helping me at all. 

Speaking of all those hours, I've been wondering: do
most of the other golfers spend a huge number of hours
on each hole? If so, how many of you folks have life
partners who misguidedly consider themselves, their
children, and your eyeballs more important than Perl? 

Which reminds me of a Dilbert where his girlfriend
asks him:
"Dilbert, I feel like you like that computer more than
"Nonsense. I do *not* like that computer more than
"*That* computer?"
(Dilbert thought bubble: "Please don't ask about the

You know how golf courses have tees for men that are a
few yards further back than those for women? Maybe
parents, students during finals, and anyone with a
non-techie as a life partner should get handicaps of a
few strokes. If I could just hack the code so that
last names starting with K got an advantage... no,
Rick will still beat me. Maybe Andrew, Ala and I could
do something about "A" first names... but we still
will never overtake Alain Dupuis. How depressing.

Anyway, Andrew, I'm sure you wouldn't be mocking me so
much if you knew that I gave myself two extra days to
play to make up for Labor Day and the Jewish New Year
and managed by Monday night to get a solution down
to... 134. Hm, still one higher than your best. But I
was close! I'll get you next time, Savige! In the
spirit of Rocky and, um, all those other accomplished
Philadelphians throughout history...

-^m:r "Eye(ball) of the Karger"

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